Why Parents Drink

Another wonderful and much needed email from my husband! How is that this man knows exactly what to send at exactly the right moment? If you are experiencing or ever had problems with your teenagers then you really want to read this. It will hopefully lighten your spirit and take a step back and appreciate the problems that you have and know that you will get through this bump in the road! A friend of mine recently gave me some great advice (or maybe it is wisdom)... When your children are little you want all this great stuff for them, by the time they reach the dreaded teenage years you just want them to grow up to be good people. That too couldn't have come at a better time!

 (my daughter and her best friend---who I claim as well)

the email~~Why Parents Drink!
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.  Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed  to "Dad."

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.  I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.  I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.  But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.  She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.  Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.  We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby, for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.  She deserves it.  Don't worry Dad.  I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.  Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS.  Dad, none of the above is true.  I'm over at Tommy's house.
     I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card.  It's in my center desk drawer.
     I love you.  Call me when it's safe to come home.